Acceptance not Ashamed

Posted by trackiesforlife on 24th Dec 2020

Acceptance not Ashamed by Trackiesforlife

"You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do"

One of my favourite quotes but not always one that is easy to live by. As any kinkster will know, accepting that kink is part of your life is almost like coming out for a second time. This doesn't mean that you have to tell everyone you know, but it is more about accepting that these fetishes and kinks are part of who you are.

But what makes this hard, and in some ways harder than accepting that you are LGBTQ+? A well known illusionist Derren Brown puts the answer to this brilliantly, he says "We are all trapped inside our own heads, and our beliefs and understandings about the world are limited by that perspective".

When I was growing up, being Gay was considered something unheard of and almost a taboo in a community. Those beliefs and understandings made me, and I am sure many others, feel ashamed for being Gay and for feeling the way I did. Nowadays I would like to think that being Gay is more accepted in the world and thus those coming to terms with it are not in such a situation (a naive thought perhaps but I have hope). But when it comes to kink and fetish gear, this is still something that is harder to overcome and accept. Society will tell you that kink and fetish gear is something to be hidden away, but with so many different kinks out there, is this always possible? (I will admit that there is a time and a place to walk the streets in arseless leather chaps).

Confidence in gear and accepting it is not something that will come over night, but it will come. I remember the first time I ordered a pair of trackies online. My head went into overdrive thinking about how I was going to lie to my Mum about what they were when they turned up in the post and what would she say if she saw me wearing them?! These were just a pair of tracksuit bottoms, but such a difference from my normal dress sense that surely she and the world would suddenly realise that I had a kink for tracksuits and scally gear and my life would end. BUT it didn't. The trackies arrived and I loved them, I wore them at home at first when I was alone and then to relax in. My mum didn't even notice. The ideas I had built up in my head were for nothing (Naturally had this been a bit of rubber, I am sure there would have been some comment).

Over time my collection of trackies grew and so did my confidence to wear them outside more and more. Again, fighting those fears that the world would all stare at me. But that's who I was, who I am. I am a kinkster and I am not ashamed. It took me a while to become comfortable with it, to tell my partner about it, and even longer for me to show myself off in my kinks and start and instagram account. This won't be something that becomes "natural" overnight. Everyone will come to terms with it differently.

My main thing I would say to anyone who is new to this world and discovering their kink interests is that you are not alone. There is a great community out there that accept you for who you are and what you like. The world will try to tell you to believe that it is wrong and you should be ashamed, just as it did when I was coming to terms with being Gay. I would ask you not to be limited by these perceptions and the thoughts in your head, to open your mind to the possibility that you are who you are meant to be.

Never be ashamed and never feel alone.

With Love

@trackiesforlife